WVM2007-2
Notes Jan 8
Agenda Jan 15
Calendar to Jan 21st

by Carolanne Reynolds, Editor
www.WestVan.org

You think you have problems and obstacles to overcome.  Believe me they're nothing.  This is an amazing story of human adaptation: http://www.eng.utah.edu/~konopka/download/vids/amazingstory.wmv
 ***  THIS ISSUE:
= MAIN ITEMS Jan 15th: Delegation (John Furlong re 2010 Olympics); Revised siting for 4769 The Highway (Alteration Permit, recommended approved); DVP 3605 Creery (recommended rejected); CORRESPONDENCE TO COUNCIL (Suspenseful since report "on table" BUT some letters with links! -- did staff have to call them all individually???): Apptmts to Cmtes/Bds (also "on table"); Ccl Mtg Schedule revision; Correspondence re Lighthouse Park Mgmt, Clovelly-Caulfeild Nbrhd Plan (now want to see what all those other blocked letters sent in last year!), UBCM, NSh Seniors' Go Bus.
= Vive le Canada!; Reviews; Salmagundi; Calendar to Jan 21st; Ccl Mtg NOTES (Mayor's Report ('to be provided'); Ccl Remuneration Review (range of views! more or slash 50%?); Preview Assessment Roll; Correspondence rumble; AGENDA Jan 15th; LANGUAGEWATCH (forming the possessive);  Haiku Winners VCBF 2006; Are you in a bad mood?  Read this!; Quotations (paths for life and new year)

***  VIVE LE CANADA!
= more on LITTLE MOSQUE ON THE PRAIRIE
Did watch.  V funny.  Wonder if they can keep up the quality.  (First episode was Tu, repeated Wed.)
Made fun of everyone -- fair play, doncha know, in Canada -- Muslims, Christians, construction companies, lawyers, radioshow hosts...... not to mention tradition, prejudice, being 'modern', cucumber sandwiches,....  Looking forward to the next episode.
= HERITAGE
Deadline for the 2007 Heritage Award Nominations is Jan 17
Call 922 4400 for a copy or to have one faxed; go to or click on www.westvan.org/heritagenom for a form from the Internet/website.
http://www.westvancouver.ca/upload/documents/Planning/Heritage/HERITAGE_ACHIEVEMENT_AWARDS_NOMINATION_FORM_2007.pdf
HERITAGE WEEK is Feb 19 to 25 -- want to suggest an activity? lecture? Call 922 4400.

===  BOOK REVIEWS  ===
The Attack by Yasmina Khadra (nom de plume), a novel about a surgeon in an Israeli hospital (no, I'm not going to give it away).
*  Carter's book Palestine: Peace not Apartheid (mentioned briefly in the last issue) has provoked comment -- as he wanted.  Here's an article from the Israeli press by an Israeli politician:  Shulamit Aloni is retired now but was a member of the Knesset.  Indeed a very brave Israeli.  You will note that the media in Israel is far more open than in the US.
The bolding is mine.  {my grammatical corrections and info are in these braces}
Indeed there is Apartheid in Israel
A new order issued by the GOC Central command bans the conveyance of Palestinians in Israeli vehicles. Such a blatant violation of the right to travel joins the long list of humans rights violations carried out by Israel in the [Occupied] Territories.
By Shulamit Aloni
01/05/06 "Ynet " --- - Jewish self-righteousness is taken for granted among ourselves to such an extent that we fail to see what's right in front of our eyes. It's simply inconceivable that the ultimate victims, the Jews, can carry out evil deeds. Nevertheless, the state of Israel practises its own, quite violent, form of Apartheid with the native Palestinian population.
       The US Jewish Establishment's onslaught on former President Jimmy Carter is based on him daring to tell the truth which is known to all: through its army, the government of Israel practises a brutal form of Apartheid in the territory it occupies. Its army has turned every Palestinian village and town into a fenced-in, or blocked-in, detention camp. All this is done in order to keep an eye on the population's movements and to make its life difficult. Israel even imposes a total curfew whenever the settlers, who have illegally usurped the Palestinians' land, celebrate their holidays or conduct their parades.
       If that were not enough, the generals commanding the region frequently issue further orders, regulations, instructions and rules (let us not forget: they are the lords of the land). By now they have requisitioned further lands for the purpose of constructing "Jewish only" roads. Wonderful roads, wide roads, well-paved roads, brightly lit at night - all that on stolen land. When a Palestinian drives on such a road, his vehicle is confiscated and he is sent on his way.
       On one occasion I witnessed such an encounter between a driver and a soldier who was taking down the details before confiscating the vehicle and sending its owner away. "Why?" I asked the soldier. "It's an order - this is a Jews-only road", he replied. I inquired as to where was the sign indicating this fact and instructing [other] drivers not to use it. His answer was nothing short of amazing. "It is his responsibility to know it, and besides, what do you want us to do, put up a sign here and let some antisemitic reporter or journalist take a photo so he that can show the world that Apartheid exists here?"
       Indeed Apartheid does exist here. And our army is not "the most moral army in the world" as we are told by its commanders. Sufficient to mention that every town and every village has turned into a detention centre and that every entry and every exit has been closed, cutting it off from arterial traffic. If it were not enough that Palestinians are not allowed to travel on the roads paved 'for Jews only', on their land, the current GOC found it necessary to land an additional blow on the natives in their own land with an "ingenious proposal".
       Humanitarian activists cannot transport Palestinians either
       Major-General Naveh, renowned for his superior patriotism, has issued a new order. Coming into affect {effect} on 19 January, it prohibits the conveyance of Palestinians without a permit. The order determines that Israelis are not allowed to transport Palestinians in an Israeli vehicle (one registered in Israel regardless of what kind of numberplate it carries) unless they have received explicit permission to do so. The permit relates to both the driver and the Palestinian passenger.
{Already in Israel, Israeli Arab licence plates are a different colour from those for Jews.}
       Of course none of this applies to those whose labour serves the settlers. They and their employers will naturally receive the required permits so they can continue to serve the lords of the land, the settlers.
       Did man of peace President Carter truly err in concluding that Israel is creating Apartheid? Did he exaggerate? Don't the US Jewish community leaders recognise the International Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Racial Discrimination of 7 March 1966, to which Israel is a signatory? Are the US Jews who launched the loud and abusive campaign against Carter for supposedly maligning Israel's character and its democratic and humanist nature unfamiliar with the International Convention on the Suppression and Punishment of the Crime of Apartheid of 30 November 1973? Apartheid is defined therein as an international crime that among other things includes using different legal instruments to rule over different racial groups, thus depriving people of their human rights. Isn't freedom of travel one of these rights?
       In the past, the US Jewish community leaders were quite familiar with the meaning of those conventions. For some reason, however, they are convinced that Israel is allowed to contravene them. It's OK to kill civilians, women and children, old people and parents with their children, deliberately or otherwise without accepting any responsibility. It's permissible to rob people of their lands, destroy their crops, and cage them up like animals in the zoo. From now on, Israelis and International humanitarian organisations' volunteers are prohibited from assisting a woman in labour by taking her to the hospital. [Israeli human rights group] Yesh Din volunteers cannot take a robbed and beaten-up Palestinian to the police station to lodge a complaint. (Police stations are located at the heart of the settlements.) Is there anyone who believes that this is not Apartheid?
       Jimmy Carter does not need me to defend his reputation that has been sullied by Israelophile community officials. The trouble is that their love of Israel distorts their judgment and blinds them from seeing what's in front of them. Israel is an occupying power that for 40 years has been oppressing an indigenous people, which is entitled to a sovereign and independent existence while living in peace with us. We should remember that we too used very violent terror against foreign rule because we wanted our own state. And the list of victims of terror is quite long and extensive.
       We do {not} limit ourselves to denying the [Palestinian] people human rights. We not only rob of them of their freedom, land and water. We apply collective punishment to millions of people and even, in revenge-driven frenzy, destroy the electricity supply for one and half million civilians. Let them "sit in the darkness" and "starve".
{This is a reference to the IDF bombing a few months ago of the one power station in Gaza where ~1.2M live.}
       Employees cannot be paid their wages because Israel is holding 500 million shekels that belong to the Palestinians.
{A lot of Palestinian trade/exports/imports go through or are handled by Israel wch collects the customs and taxes, then passed on to the Palestinian Authority.  Since Hamas was elected in March, Israel has withheld this money and refused to pass it on.  Doctors, nurses, teachers, etc (employed by the govt) have not been paid salaries since then.}
       And after all that we remain "pure as the driven snow". There are no moral blemishes on our actions. There is no racial separation. There is no Apartheid. It's an invention of the enemies of Israel. Hooray for our brothers and sisters in the US! Your devotion is very much appreciated. You have truly removed a nasty stain from us. Now there can be an extra spring in our step as we confidently abuse the Palestinian population, using the "most moral army in the world".
=
Shulamit Aloni, the Israeli Prize laureate who once served as Minister of Education under Yitzhak Rabin, is from Yediot Acharonot, Israel's largest circulating newspaper, which appeared in the Hebrew Ynet but not in the English-language Ynetnews.
Translated by Sol Salbe, an Australian editor, whose comments are in square brackets.
Hebrew original: http://www.ynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-3346283,00.html Yediot Acharonot, Israel's largest circulating newspaper.
{btw, Christian Peacemaker Team mbrs work with Muslim Peacemaker Teams, as well as Ta'ayush, Doves, and Yesh Din.}

===  SALMAGUNDI  ===
*
Hurricane Frieda hit Vancouver in 1962 (sometimes called the tail end of a typhoon across the Pacific), 3000 trees damaged in Stanley Park.  Awaiting the figure for these storms.
*
Garbage and Recycling Alert for January 10th -- MISSED? extra next week!
If your recycling is missed today, please bring it in and put it out again next week, as per standard municipal protocol (see your garbage & recycling guide for details).  If your garbage is missed today due to the weather, please bring it in and set it out again next week - your two-can garbage limit will be waived to four cans for next week only.  Questions? Call 604-984-9730.
The weather is forecast to stay cold for the next few days - tune in to 
North Shore Recycling Program's website for frequent updates.
*
First female Beefeater hired for the first time in their 522-year history.  The Tower's Yeoman Warders are commonly known as Beefeaters.  Her new job title will be "Yeoman Warder of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London, and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary."  Beefeaters, who are believed to have earned their nickname from their daily ration of meat, date from 1485 when Henry VII formed a bodyguard.  The Tower of London was built in 1078 by William the Conqueror. It is home to the Crown Jewels.
*
BURMA/CANADA
Of the many groups of ppl whose plight I mentioned in the last issue I forgot to include the Karoen (CBC had as Karen), a tribe in Burma of 7M promised at least autonomy after WW2 but not honoured and instead now under suffocating yoke of the Burmese generals with forced slave labour and worse.  Canada has just accepted 1000 as refugees.  I met some when I was in Burma years ago and was impressed with them -- the missionaries must have been busy b/c many spoke English as they did on the CBC report even though in villages without electricity in huts in remote areas.
*
MONGOLIA
[Brice Pedroletti in Le Monde] Any mention of Genghis Khan was forbidden until 1990, but recently he has been resuscitated in an effort to restore national pride. People feel it is high time the country stopped acting as a buffer zone between Russia and China. Last year, the 800th anniversary of the foundation of the Mongol nation by the Khan in 1206, was a deeply symbolic moment.
With only 2.5 million inhabitants, almost half of whom are nomads, the Mongolian market is tiny, but Genghis Khan is definitely the dominant brand. To make matters easier, the multinationals, busy conquering neighbouring China, have spared the country. There is not a single McDonald's or Starbucks in Ulan Bator, the only town worthy of the name in a country three times the size of France.

===  CALENDAR to Jan 18th  === all mtgs at MHall unless otherwise indicated

=== Tuesday January 9
~ 5 - 7pm ~ Finance and Audit Cmte

=== Wednesday January 10
~ 7:30am ~ WV Chamber of Commerce breakfast at the Hollyburn Country Club
Mayor's Update on the State of the District
~ 7:30 - 9pm ~ at the Library -- Jan Drabek: His Doubtful Excellency, A Canadian novelist's adventure as President Havel's ambassador in Prague, launch of his new book, "His Doubtful Excellency".

=== Tuesday January 16th
Expression of Interest/Pre-Qualification Mandatory Information Meeting
An information meeting will be held at 2pm to review the pre-qualifications for the Expression of Interest. The meeting will be held at the Municipal Hall. This meeting is mandatory if you are interested in submitting an Expression of Interest, due approximately three weeks after the information meeting. 
The District reserves the right to accept or reject any or all Expressions of Interest. A Request for Proposal process may or may not take place as a result of the Expression of Interests received. Interested persons or firms shall be responsible for all costs associated with preparing their submissions.
Enquiries regarding this Expression of Interest Information Meeting should be directed to:
John Goyan, Manager, Purchasing & Risk Management; Tel: 925-7061 / Email: jgoyan@westvancouver.ca
{Ad was in NSN Sunday (7th), p23 -- 7Ksqft!; see comments at QPeriod Jan 8th ccl mtg below}
 
=== Wednesday January 17th
~ 7pm: Library Bd at the Library; Bd of Variance at the M Hall

=== Thursday January 18th
~ Deadline for Haiku International entries to Vancouver Cherry Blossom Festival Haiku contest.  See www.vcbf.ca and follow the links to haiku (see also haiku at end).
~ 5pm ~ NSh Task Force on Substance Abuse
~ 5pm ~ NSACDI - CANCELLED
~ 5:30pm ~ NSh Family & Youth Justice Cmte at CNV

~ 7:30pm ~ WV STREAMKEEPER SOCIETY Public Mtg at St Stephen's (855 - 22nd)
Thursday, Jan 18th, Public WVS Meeting Agenda - 7:30- 8pm (see below)
The agenda for this meeting will be shortened in order to provide as much time as possible for our guest speaker.
GUEST SPEAKER: 8 - 9pm
PATRICK LUCEY, Aqua-Tex Scientific Consulting Ltd.
 will make a presentation on
PROTECTING THE PROPER FUNCTIONING OF STREAMS
This presentation will have particular relevance to the management of creeks and wetlands in areas where development is proposed, or where planning for recreation in forest and open space area is anticipated.. Public Questions 9 - 9:30pm
 _______________________________________________________________________________________
Public Meeting Agenda - 7:30p- 8pm
        1. Call to Order; Approval of the Agenda
        2. Announcements
        3. Reports:
                        a. Community Adviser - Rob Bell-Irving
                        b. Municipal Report - Steve Jenkins
                        c. Spawner Survey Report - Elizabeth Hardy
                        d. Reports by individual creek coordinators
                        e. North Shore Wetland Partners - Paul Berlinguette
                        f. West Vancouver Shoreline Preservation Society -Ray Richards
        4. Next Public Meeting - May 17th 2007
        5. Adjournment
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
CONTACT INFORMATION for WV Streamkeepers:
        Tel: 604 628 1123; Email: streamkeepers@westvan.org; Website: www.streamkeepers.westvan.org

=== Thursday January 19th  --  The Music of Jerome Kern at the Library, 7:30pm

=== Saturday January 21st -- 7:30pm at KMC
DANCING UP A SNOWSTORM, A CHRISTMAS DANCE RECITAL
North Shore Academy of Dancing presents a festive dance recital for all the family.  Tickets available through the Kay Meek Box Office: 913-3634
See www.kaymeekcentre.com for calendar of events.

ONGOING:
AT THE LIBRARY:  January 2 - 31 Exhibit
Lighthouse Park Preservation Society: Celebrating  Nature -- Lighthouse Park
Readers' Cafe
A reading & discussion of James Joyce's " Ulysses ", Tuesdays, January 2, 16, and 30, 10:30am - 12:30pm, Peter J. Peters Room. For more information call the Reference Dept 925-7405.
-- at the Ferry Building Gallery -- January 9 - 28 -- "Sum of the Parts"
mixed media  by
The Tapestry Weavers Interest Group - Virginia Baldwin, Judy Pollack, Sherella Conley, Sharon Burrows, Mona Chrzanowski, Traude Doelker, Jessie May Keller, Myrna Lindstrom, Jay Rudolph, Zoe Watson
and Hooshiar Ashraf, Claire Choi, Anne Dunnett, Gaye Hammond, Celia Pickles
Opening Reception: Tuesday January 9 from 6 - 8pm  &
Artists' Talk: Saturday January 13 at 2pm

===  Ccl Mtg NOTES Jan 8th ===


===  AGENDA Ccl Mtg Jan 15th ===
APPROVAL OF AGENDA
1.         Approval of January 15, 2007 Regular Council Agenda
DELEGATIONS
2.         J. Furlong, Chief Executive Officer, Vancouver Organizing Committee for the 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games (VANOC)
REPORTS
3.         Revised Siting Plan - 4769 The Highway - Alteration Permit Application 05-026
CALL FOR PUBLIC INPUT
RECOMMENDED: THAT all written and verbal submissions,... be received.
RECOMMENDED: THAT
1.      The January 10, 2007 report of the Director of Planning, Lands and Permits... be received.
2.      No further notice for consideration of the revised site plan be required.
3.      Alteration Permit Application 05-026, as revised to Option C in the January 10 report...and including a side and front yard variance be approved.
4.         Development Variance Permit 06-052 (3605 Creery Avenue)
CALL FOR PUBLIC INPUT
RECOMMENDED: THAT all written and verbal submissions,...be received.
RECOMMENDED: DVP would provide for an upper floor deck and roof overhang with variances to the required Front Yard, be rejected.
5.         Correspondence to Council *To be provided on-table. *
{OOOOh, the suspense!  What excuse or delaying tactic will be used this time???  Soldier on pls the four cclrs fighting for common sense.  There are some links in the section below however so shd we be optimistic that there'll be restoration to the openness we had before?} 
6.         Appointments to 2007 Committees and Boards To be provided on-table.
7.         Appointment and Re-appointment to the North Shore Advisory Committee on Disability Issues
RECOMMENDED: THAT the appointment of Brigitte Vogelsang and the re-appointment of Rosamund Van Leeuwen to the North Shore Advisory Committee on Disability Issues for the term January 1, 2007 to December 31, 2008, be approved.
8.         2007 Council Meeting Schedule Revision (File:  0120-01)
RECOMMENDED: THAT the 2007 Council Meeting Schedule be revised as follows:
=B7   a Special Regular Council Meeting be held on Monday, January 22, 2007 immediately following the Committee of the Whole Meeting, in the Municipal Hall Council Chamber
=B7   the Committee of the Whole Meeting scheduled for Monday, February 12, 2007 be changed to a Regular Council Meeting
=B7    the Regular Council Meeting scheduled for Monday, February 19, 2007 be changed to a Committee of the Whole Meeting.
CONSENT AGENDA ITEM
9.         Correspondence List --  RECOMMENDED:... received.
Requests for Delegation
9.1               T. Steverding, Owner/Operator, "The Centre" Cedardale Child Learning Centre Ltd., January 02, 2007, regarding request for delegation regarding child care spaces
                    Referred to the Municipal Clerk for response regarding delegation scheduling.
Action Required
9.2               M. de Jong Westman, President, Lighthouse Park Preservation Society, December 11, 2006, regarding Lighthouse Park management
                    Referred to Director of Parks and Community Services for consideration and response.
9.3               T. A. James, December 23, 2006, regarding overhead wires
                    Referred to Director of Engineering and Transportation for consideration and response.
9.4               A. Nicholson, December 19, 2006, regarding Clovelly-Caulfeild Neighbourhood Plan
                    Referred to Director of Planning, Lands and Permits for consideration and response.
9.5               H. Biehl, December 05, 2006, regarding electrical power, BC Hydro and fallen trees
                    Referred to Director of Planning, Lands and Permits and Director of Parks and Community Services for consideration and response.
No Action Required (receipt only)
9.6               S. Ellis, Corporate Vice President, Summit Resorts Limited, January 05, 2007, regarding Grouse Mountain
9.7               S. B. Hagen, Minister, Ministry of Tourism, Sport and the Arts, December 13, 2006, regarding meeting with West Vancouver delegates at Union of British Columbia Municipalities Convention 2006
9.8               R. Coleman, Minister of Forests and Range and Minister Responsible for Housing, December 08, 2006, regarding geotechnical assessments of slope stability and the 2006 BC Building Code
9.9               B. Binnie, Union of British Columbia Municipalities (UBCM) President, January 03, 2007, regarding 2007 UBCM membership
9.10           <= u > I. Chong, Minister of Community Services and Minister Responsible for Seniors' and Women's Issues, December 27, 2006, regarding Community Opportunities Task Force report Building Stronger Communities: Better Services, Economic Growth, Solutions That Work
                    Attachment available for viewing in Legislative Services Department.
9.11            = ; S. Lamy, Assistant Director of Professional Development and Education, Urban Development Institute (UDI), January 03, 2007, regarding UDI's January 18th Luncheon
                    Previously distributed due to timing of event.
9.12            = ; A. Loverin, Executive Director, Silver Harbour Centre, January 04, 2007, regarding North Shore Seniors Go Bus (File:  0055-01)
Responses to Correspondence  9.13            No items presented.
Responses to Questions in Question Period    9.14            No items presented.
10. REPORTS FROM MAYOR/COUNCILLORS / 11.  PUBLIC QUESTIONS/COMMENTS / 12.  ADJOURNMENT

===  LANGUAGEWATCH  ===<= /font>  Respect for English, its richness and nuance
ONE:  BASIC GREETING
The first instalment was last week and started with the basic "How are you?" (btw, hope you're well!)
The next mistake that drives me wild and makes me bring out a marker to write on signs, just as Lynne Truss did involves apostrophes.  (And yes, I wrote the review of her book for the VSun a couple of years ago.)
TWO:  THE POSSESSIVE
Some people tend to sprinkle apostrophes throughout their writing as if a random decoration.  The rule is really simple but most seem to forget one part.
The possessive is formed by adding ['s] to the word UNLESS the word ends in [s] AND is PLURAL.
Note that ending in [s] is not enough, it has to be plural and that's the part many seem to ignore or forget.  #Or maybe their teacher didn't tell them.#
Examples:
Bridget Jones's Diary; the Joneses' children (and the Jones family)
the boss's car; the bosses' offices
Mike Harris's govt, Sheila Copps's column, Vic Toews's legislation; the senators' chamber
the MLA's riding, the MLAs' telephones; an MP's bill, the MPs' seats; 1990's hit song; 1990s' hit songs
Ron Wood's garden, Tiger Woods's golf game; the Woods' house, the Woodses' home
See?
Isn't it simple?

===  HAIKU  === t= he winners from last year's Vancouver Cherry Blossom Festival
Haiku 2006  --  Haiku Invitational 2006
Here are the best haiku of the 2006 Haiku Invitational:

        *       Best Canadian Poem
               
the long road
boughs of white blossoms
light the way
                *       Helen Baker, North Vancouver, British Columbia

*       Best U.S Poem
               
cherry blossoms
I fold my r=E9sum=E9
into a crane
        *       Barry Goodmann, Hackensack, New Jersey

        *       Best Youth Poem
               
stopped in traffic-
on my window
cherry blossom
        *       Sophia Frentz (age 13), Tauranga, New Zealand

        *       Best International Poem
               
cherry tree
even the blind woman
picks blossoms
        *       Rosa Clement, Manaus, Brazil

VANCOUVER CHERRY BLOSSOM FESTIVAL 2007
We are delighted to announce that the second annual Cherry Blossom Festival will take place in Vancouver, Canada, during March and April 2007.
We invite poets from around the world to submit one unpublished haiku inspired by the beauty of the cherry tree. Submissions must be received by January 18, 2007.
You may find submission details at http://www.vcbf.ca/ by following the link to haiku.

===  If you're in a bad mood, read this=   === [UK Glossary: hoover = vacuum]

1.  How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
                Unique Up On It.
2.  How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
                Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3.  How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
                They Take The Psycho Path
4.  How Do You Get Holy Water?
                You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5.  What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
                Dam!
6.  What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
                Polaroids
7.  What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
                A Stick
8.  What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
                Nacho Cheese.
9.  What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
                Subordinate Clauses.
10.  What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
                Quattro Sinko.
11.  What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
                Spoiled Milk.
12.  What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
                Frostbite.
13.  What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
                A Nervous Wreck.
14.  What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
                Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15.  Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
                Right Where You Left Him.
16.  Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
                Because They Have Big Fingers.
17.  Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
                Because It Scares The Dog.
18.  What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
                Sanka.
19.  What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
                The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20.  Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
                Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hat.
21.  What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
                A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
                A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

===  QUOTATIONS  === if you're thinking about your path this year and in the future.....

One recognizes one's course by discovering the paths that stray from it.
                -- Albert Camus

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
                        -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night.
                        -- Khalil Gibran

Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life flows.
                -- Henry David Thoreau

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
                -- Robert Frost