WVM2007-2
Notes Jan 8
Agenda Jan 15
Calendar to Jan 21st
by
Carolanne Reynolds, Editor
www.WestVan.org
You think you have problems and obstacles to overcome.
Believe me they're nothing. This is an amazing story of human
adaptation:
http://www.eng.utah.edu/~konopka/download/vids/amazingstory.wmv
*** THIS ISSUE:
= MAIN ITEMS Jan 15th: Delegation (John Furlong re 2010
Olympics); Revised siting for 4769 The Highway (Alteration Permit,
recommended approved); DVP 3605 Creery (recommended rejected);
CORRESPONDENCE TO COUNCIL (Suspenseful since report "on
table" BUT some letters with links! -- did staff have to call
them all individually???): Apptmts to Cmtes/Bds (also "on
table"); Ccl Mtg Schedule revision; Correspondence re Lighthouse
Park Mgmt, Clovelly-Caulfeild Nbrhd Plan (now want to see what all
those other blocked letters sent in last year!), UBCM, NSh Seniors' Go
Bus.
= Vive le Canada!; Reviews; Salmagundi; Calendar to Jan 21st; Ccl
Mtg NOTES (Mayor's Report ('to be provided'); Ccl Remuneration
Review (range of views! more or slash 50%?); Preview Assessment
Roll; Correspondence rumble; AGENDA Jan 15th;
LANGUAGEWATCH (forming the possessive); Haiku Winners VCBF 2006;
Are you in a bad mood? Read this!; Quotations (paths for life
and new year)
*** VIVE LE CANADA!
= more on LITTLE MOSQUE ON THE PRAIRIE
Did watch. V funny. Wonder if they can keep up the
quality. (First episode was Tu, repeated Wed.)
Made fun of everyone -- fair play, doncha know, in Canada --
Muslims, Christians, construction companies, lawyers, radioshow
hosts...... not to mention tradition, prejudice, being 'modern',
cucumber sandwiches,.... Looking forward to the next
episode.
= HERITAGE
Deadline for the 2007 Heritage Award Nominations is Jan
17
Call 922 4400 for a copy or to have one faxed; go to or click on
www.westvan.org/heritagenom for a form from the
Internet/website.
http://www.westvancouver.ca/upload/documents/Planning/Heritage/HERITAGE_ACHIEVEMENT_AWARDS_NOMINATION_FORM_2007.pdf
HERITAGE WEEK is Feb 19 to 25 -- want to suggest an activity?
lecture? Call 922 4400.
=== BOOK REVIEWS
===
* The Attack by Yasmina Khadra (nom de plume), a
novel about a surgeon in an Israeli hospital (no, I'm not going to
give it away).
* Carter's book Palestine: Peace not Apartheid
(mentioned briefly in the last issue) has provoked comment -- as he
wanted. Here's an article from the Israeli press by an Israeli
politician: Shulamit Aloni is retired now but was a member of
the Knesset. Indeed a very brave Israeli. You will note
that the media in Israel is far more open than in the US.
The bolding is mine. {my grammatical corrections and info
are in these braces}
Indeed there is Apartheid in
Israel
A new order issued by the GOC Central command bans the
conveyance of Palestinians in Israeli vehicles. Such a blatant
violation of the right to travel joins the long list of humans rights
violations carried out by Israel in the [Occupied] Territories.
By Shulamit Aloni
01/05/06 "Ynet " --- - Jewish
self-righteousness is taken for granted among ourselves to such an
extent that we fail to see what's right in front of our eyes. It's
simply inconceivable that the ultimate victims, the Jews, can carry
out evil deeds. Nevertheless, the state of Israel practises its own,
quite violent, form of Apartheid with the native Palestinian
population.
The US Jewish
Establishment's onslaught on former President Jimmy Carter is based on
him daring to tell the truth which is known to all: through its army,
the government of Israel practises a brutal form of Apartheid in the
territory it occupies. Its army has turned every Palestinian village
and town into a fenced-in, or blocked-in, detention camp. All this is
done in order to keep an eye on the population's movements and to
make its life difficult. Israel even imposes a total curfew whenever
the settlers, who have illegally usurped the Palestinians' land,
celebrate their holidays or conduct their parades.
If that were not enough, the
generals commanding the region frequently issue further orders,
regulations, instructions and rules (let us not forget: they are the
lords of the land). By now they have requisitioned further lands
for the purpose of constructing "Jewish only" roads. Wonderful
roads, wide roads, well-paved roads, brightly lit at night - all
that on stolen land. When a Palestinian drives on such a road, his
vehicle is confiscated and he is sent on his way.
On one occasion I witnessed
such an encounter between a driver and a soldier who was taking down
the details before confiscating the vehicle and sending its owner
away. "Why?" I asked the soldier. "It's an order - this is a
Jews-only road", he replied. I inquired as to where was the sign
indicating this fact and instructing [other] drivers not to use it.
His answer was nothing short of amazing. "It is his responsibility
to know it, and besides, what do you want us to do, put up a sign here
and let some antisemitic reporter or journalist take a photo so he
that can show the world that Apartheid exists here?"
Indeed Apartheid does exist
here. And our army is not "the most moral army in the world" as we
are told by its commanders. Sufficient to mention that every town and
every village has turned into a detention centre and that every entry
and every exit has been closed, cutting it off from arterial traffic.
If it were not enough that Palestinians are not allowed to travel on
the roads paved 'for Jews only', on their land, the current GOC
found it necessary to land an additional blow on the natives in their
own land with an "ingenious proposal".
Humanitarian activists
cannot transport Palestinians either
Major-General Naveh,
renowned for his superior patriotism, has issued a new order. Coming
into affect {effect} on 19 January, it prohibits the conveyance of
Palestinians without a permit. The order determines that Israelis are
not allowed to transport Palestinians in an Israeli vehicle (one
registered in Israel regardless of what kind of numberplate it
carries) unless they have received explicit permission to do so. The
permit relates to both the driver and the Palestinian
passenger.
{Already in Israel, Israeli Arab licence plates are a
different colour from those for Jews.}
Of course none of this
applies to those whose labour serves the settlers. They and their
employers will naturally receive the required permits so they can
continue to serve the lords of the land, the settlers.
Did man of peace President
Carter truly err in concluding that Israel is creating Apartheid? Did
he exaggerate? Don't the US Jewish community leaders recognise the
International Convention on the Elimination of all Forms of Racial
Discrimination of 7 March 1966, to which Israel is a signatory? Are
the US Jews who launched the loud and abusive campaign against Carter
for supposedly maligning Israel's character and its democratic and
humanist nature unfamiliar with the International Convention on the
Suppression and Punishment of the Crime of Apartheid of 30 November
1973? Apartheid is defined therein as an international crime that
among other things includes using different legal instruments to rule
over different racial groups, thus depriving people of their human
rights. Isn't freedom of travel one of these rights?
In the past, the US Jewish
community leaders were quite familiar with the meaning of those
conventions. For some reason, however, they are convinced that Israel
is allowed to contravene them. It's OK to kill civilians, women and
children, old people and parents with their children, deliberately or
otherwise without accepting any responsibility. It's permissible
to rob people of their lands, destroy their crops, and cage them up
like animals in the zoo. From now on, Israelis and International
humanitarian organisations' volunteers are prohibited from assisting
a woman in labour by taking her to the hospital. [Israeli human rights
group] Yesh Din volunteers cannot take a robbed and beaten-up
Palestinian to the police station to lodge a complaint. (Police
stations are located at the heart of the settlements.) Is there anyone
who believes that this is not Apartheid?
Jimmy Carter does not need
me to defend his reputation that has been sullied by Israelophile
community officials. The trouble is that their love of Israel
distorts their judgment and blinds them from seeing what's in front
of them. Israel is an occupying power that for 40 years has been
oppressing an indigenous people, which is entitled to a sovereign and
independent existence while living in peace with us. We should
remember that we too used very violent terror against foreign rule
because we wanted our own state. And the list of victims of terror
is quite long and extensive.
We do {not} limit ourselves
to denying the [Palestinian] people human rights. We not only rob of
them of their freedom, land and water. We apply collective punishment
to millions of people and even, in revenge-driven frenzy, destroy the
electricity supply for one and half million civilians. Let them "sit
in the darkness" and "starve".
{This is a reference to the IDF bombing a few months ago of
the one power station in Gaza where ~1.2M live.}
Employees cannot be paid
their wages because Israel is holding 500 million shekels that belong
to the Palestinians.
{A lot of Palestinian trade/exports/imports go through or are
handled by Israel wch collects the customs and taxes, then passed on
to the Palestinian Authority. Since Hamas was elected in March,
Israel has withheld this money and refused to pass it on.
Doctors, nurses, teachers, etc (employed by the govt) have not been
paid salaries since then.}
And after all that we remain
"pure as the driven snow". There are no moral blemishes on our
actions. There is no racial separation. There is no Apartheid. It's
an invention of the enemies of Israel. Hooray for our brothers and
sisters in the US! Your devotion is very much appreciated. You have
truly removed a nasty stain from us. Now there can be an extra spring
in our step as we confidently abuse the Palestinian population, using
the "most moral army in the world".
=
Shulamit Aloni, the Israeli Prize laureate who once served as
Minister of Education under Yitzhak Rabin, is from Yediot Acharonot,
Israel's largest circulating newspaper, which appeared in the Hebrew
Ynet but not in the English-language Ynetnews.
Translated by Sol Salbe, an Australian editor, whose comments are
in square brackets.
{btw, Christian Peacemaker Team mbrs work with Muslim
Peacemaker Teams, as well as Ta'ayush, Doves, and Yesh Din.}
=== SALMAGUNDI
===
*
Hurricane Frieda hit Vancouver in 1962 (sometimes called
the tail end of a typhoon across the Pacific), 3000 trees damaged in
Stanley Park. Awaiting the figure for these storms.
*
Garbage and
Recycling Alert for January 10th -- MISSED? extra next
week!
If your recycling
is missed today, please bring it in and put it out again next week, as
per standard municipal protocol (see your garbage & recycling
guide for details). If your garbage is missed today due to
the weather, please bring it in and set it out again next week - your
two-can garbage limit will be waived to four cans for next week only.
Questions? Call 604-984-9730.
The weather is forecast to stay cold for the next few days - tune in
to North
Shore Recycling Program's website for frequent updates.
*
First female Beefeater hired for the first time in their
522-year history. The Tower's Yeoman Warders are commonly
known as Beefeaters. Her new job title will be "Yeoman
Warder of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London,
and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard
Extraordinary." Beefeaters, who are believed to have earned
their nickname from their daily ration of meat, date from 1485 when
Henry VII formed a bodyguard. The Tower of London was built
in 1078 by William the Conqueror. It is home to the Crown
Jewels.
*
BURMA/CANADA
Of the many groups of ppl whose plight I mentioned in the last
issue I forgot to include the Karoen (CBC had as Karen), a tribe in
Burma of 7M promised at least autonomy after WW2 but not honoured and
instead now under suffocating yoke of the Burmese generals with forced
slave labour and worse. Canada has just accepted 1000 as
refugees. I met some when I was in Burma years ago and was
impressed with them -- the missionaries must have been busy b/c many
spoke English as they did on the CBC report even though in villages
without electricity in huts in remote areas.
*
MONGOLIA
[Brice Pedroletti in Le Monde] Any mention of Genghis Khan was
forbidden until 1990, but recently he has been resuscitated in an
effort to restore national pride. People feel it is high time the
country stopped acting as a buffer zone between Russia and China. Last
year, the 800th anniversary of the foundation of the Mongol nation by
the Khan in 1206, was a deeply symbolic moment.
With only 2.5 million inhabitants, almost half of whom are
nomads, the Mongolian market is tiny, but Genghis Khan is definitely
the dominant brand. To make matters easier, the multinationals, busy
conquering neighbouring China, have spared the country. There is not a
single McDonald's or Starbucks in Ulan Bator, the only town worthy of
the name in a country three times the size of France.
=== CALENDAR to Jan 18th
=== all mtgs at MHall unless otherwise indicated
=== Tuesday January 9
~ 5 - 7pm ~ Finance and Audit Cmte
=== Wednesday January 10
~ 7:30am ~ WV Chamber of Commerce breakfast at the Hollyburn
Country Club
Mayor's Update on the State of the District
~ 7:30
- 9pm ~ at the Library -- Jan Drabek: His Doubtful
Excellency, A
Canadian novelist's adventure as President Havel's ambassador in
Prague, launch of
his new book, "His Doubtful Excellency".
=== Tuesday January 16th
Expression of
Interest/Pre-Qualification Mandatory Information
Meeting
An information
meeting will be held at 2pm to review the pre-qualifications for the
Expression of Interest. The meeting will be held at the Municipal
Hall. This meeting is mandatory if you are interested in submitting an
Expression of Interest, due approximately three weeks after the
information meeting.
The District
reserves the right to accept or reject any or all Expressions of
Interest. A Request for Proposal process may or may not take place as
a result of the Expression of Interests received. Interested persons
or firms shall be responsible for all costs associated with preparing
their submissions.
Enquiries
regarding this Expression of Interest Information Meeting should be
directed to:
John Goyan,
Manager, Purchasing & Risk Management; Tel: 925-7061 / Email:
jgoyan@westvancouver.ca
{Ad was in NSN Sunday (7th), p23 -- 7Ksqft!; see comments at
QPeriod Jan 8th ccl mtg below}
=== Wednesday January 17th
~ 7pm: Library Bd at the Library; Bd of Variance at
the M Hall
=== Thursday January 18th
~ Deadline for Haiku International entries to Vancouver
Cherry Blossom Festival Haiku contest. See www.vcbf.ca and
follow the links to haiku (see also haiku at end).
~ 5pm ~ NSh Task Force on Substance Abuse
~ 5pm ~ NSACDI - CANCELLED
~ 5:30pm ~ NSh Family & Youth Justice Cmte at CNV
~ 7:30pm ~ WV STREAMKEEPER SOCIETY Public Mtg
at St Stephen's (855 - 22nd)
Thursday, Jan 18th,
Public WVS Meeting Agenda - 7:30- 8pm (see below)
The agenda for this
meeting will be shortened in order to provide as much time as possible
for our guest speaker.
GUEST
SPEAKER:
8 - 9pm
PATRICK
LUCEY,
Aqua-Tex Scientific Consulting Ltd.
will make a presentation on
PROTECTING THE PROPER FUNCTIONING OF
STREAMS
This presentation will
have particular relevance to the management of creeks and wetlands in
areas where development is proposed, or where planning for recreation
in forest and open space area is anticipated.. Public Questions: 9 - 9:30pm
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Public Meeting
Agenda - 7:30p- 8pm
1. Call to Order; Approval of the Agenda
2. Announcements
3. Reports:
a.
Community Adviser - Rob Bell-Irving
b.
Municipal Report - Steve Jenkins
c.
Spawner Survey Report - Elizabeth Hardy
d.
Reports by individual creek coordinators
e.
North Shore Wetland Partners - Paul Berlinguette
f.
West Vancouver Shoreline Preservation Society -Ray
Richards
4. Next Public Meeting - May 17th 2007
5. Adjournment
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
CONTACT INFORMATION for WV
Streamkeepers:
Tel: 604 628 1123; Email:
streamkeepers@westvan.org;
Website: www.streamkeepers.westvan.org
=== Thursday January 19th -- The Music of
Jerome Kern at the Library, 7:30pm
=== Saturday January 21st -- 7:30pm at KMC
DANCING UP A SNOWSTORM, A
CHRISTMAS DANCE RECITAL
North Shore Academy
of Dancing presents a festive dance recital for all the family.
Tickets available through the Kay Meek Box Office:
913-3634
See
www.kaymeekcentre.com for calendar of events.
ONGOING:
AT THE
LIBRARY: January 2 - 31 Exhibit
Lighthouse Park Preservation Society:
Celebrating Nature -- Lighthouse Park
Readers'
Cafe
A reading & discussion of
James Joyce's " Ulysses ", Tuesdays, January 2,
16, and 30, 10:30am - 12:30pm, Peter J. Peters Room. For more
information call the Reference Dept 925-7405.
-- at the Ferry Building Gallery
-- January 9 - 28 -- "Sum of the
Parts"
mixed media by
The Tapestry Weavers Interest Group - Virginia Baldwin, Judy
Pollack, Sherella Conley, Sharon Burrows, Mona Chrzanowski, Traude
Doelker, Jessie May Keller, Myrna Lindstrom, Jay Rudolph, Zoe
Watson
and Hooshiar Ashraf, Claire Choi, Anne Dunnett, Gaye Hammond,
Celia Pickles
Opening Reception: Tuesday January 9
from 6 - 8pm
&
Artists' Talk: Saturday January 13 at
2pm
=== Ccl Mtg NOTES Jan 8th
===
=== AGENDA Ccl Mtg Jan 15th
===
APPROVAL OF AGENDA
1. Approval of
January 15, 2007 Regular Council Agenda
DELEGATIONS
2. J. Furlong,
Chief Executive Officer, Vancouver Organizing Committee for the 2010
Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games (VANOC)
REPORTS
3. Revised
Siting Plan - 4769 The Highway - Alteration Permit Application
05-026
CALL FOR PUBLIC INPUT
RECOMMENDED: THAT all written and verbal submissions,... be
received.
RECOMMENDED: THAT
1. The January 10, 2007 report of
the Director of Planning, Lands and Permits... be received.
2. No further notice for
consideration of the revised site plan be required.
3. Alteration Permit Application
05-026, as revised to Option C in the January 10 report...and
including a side and front yard variance be
approved.
4. Development
Variance Permit 06-052 (3605 Creery Avenue)
CALL FOR PUBLIC INPUT
RECOMMENDED: THAT all written and verbal submissions,...be
received.
RECOMMENDED: DVP would provide for an upper floor deck and roof
overhang with variances to the required Front Yard, be
rejected.
5.
Correspondence to Council *To be provided on-table.
*
{OOOOh, the suspense! What excuse or
delaying tactic will be used this time??? Soldier on pls the
four cclrs fighting for common sense. There are some links in
the section below however so shd we be optimistic that there'll be
restoration to the openness we had
before?}
6.
Appointments to 2007 Committees and Boards To be provided
on-table.
7. Appointment
and Re-appointment to the North Shore Advisory Committee on Disability
Issues
RECOMMENDED: THAT the appointment of Brigitte Vogelsang and the
re-appointment of Rosamund Van Leeuwen to the North Shore Advisory
Committee on Disability Issues for the term January 1, 2007 to
December 31, 2008, be approved.
8. 2007
Council Meeting Schedule Revision (File: 0120-01)
RECOMMENDED: THAT the 2007 Council Meeting Schedule be revised as
follows:
=B7 a Special Regular Council Meeting be held on
Monday, January 22, 2007 immediately following the Committee of the
Whole Meeting, in the Municipal Hall Council Chamber
=B7 the Committee of the Whole Meeting scheduled
for Monday, February 12, 2007 be changed to a Regular Council
Meeting
=B7 the Regular Council Meeting scheduled
for Monday, February 19, 2007 be changed to a Committee of the Whole
Meeting.
CONSENT AGENDA ITEM
9. Correspondence
List -- RECOMMENDED:... received.
Requests for Delegation
9.1 T. Steverding, Owner/Operator, "The
Centre" Cedardale Child Learning Centre Ltd., January 02, 2007,
regarding request for delegation regarding child care spaces
Referred to
the Municipal Clerk for response regarding delegation
scheduling.
Action Required
9.2 M. de Jong Westman, President,
Lighthouse Park Preservation Society, December 11, 2006, regarding
Lighthouse Park management
Referred to
Director of Parks and Community Services for consideration and
response.
9.3 T. A. James, December 23, 2006,
regarding overhead wires
Referred to
Director of Engineering and Transportation for consideration and
response.
9.4 A. Nicholson, December 19, 2006,
regarding Clovelly-Caulfeild Neighbourhood Plan
Referred to
Director of Planning, Lands and Permits for consideration and
response.
9.5 H. Biehl, December 05, 2006, regarding
electrical power, BC Hydro and fallen trees
Referred to
Director of Planning, Lands and Permits and Director of Parks and
Community Services for consideration and response.
No Action Required (receipt only)
9.6 S. Ellis, Corporate Vice President,
Summit Resorts Limited, January 05, 2007, regarding Grouse
Mountain
9.7 S. B. Hagen, Minister, Ministry of
Tourism, Sport and the Arts, December 13, 2006, regarding meeting with
West Vancouver delegates at Union of British Columbia Municipalities
Convention 2006
9.8 R. Coleman, Minister of Forests and
Range and Minister Responsible for Housing, December 08, 2006,
regarding geotechnical assessments of slope stability and the
2006 BC Building Code
9.9 B. Binnie, Union of British Columbia
Municipalities (UBCM) President, January 03, 2007, regarding 2007 UBCM
membership
9.10 <=
u
> I. Chong, Minister of Community Services and Minister Responsible
for Seniors' and Women's Issues, December 27, 2006, regarding
Community Opportunities Task Force report Building Stronger
Communities: Better Services, Economic Growth, Solutions That
Work
Attachment
available for viewing in Legislative Services Department.
9.11  =
; S. Lamy, Assistant Director of Professional Development and
Education, Urban Development Institute (UDI), January 03, 2007,
regarding UDI's January 18th Luncheon
Previously
distributed due to timing of event.
9.12  =
; A. Loverin, Executive Director, Silver Harbour Centre, January 04,
2007, regarding North Shore Seniors Go Bus
(File: 0055-01)
Responses to Correspondence
9.13
No items presented.
Responses to Questions in Question
Period
9.14
No items presented.
10. REPORTS FROM MAYOR/COUNCILLORS / 11. PUBLIC
QUESTIONS/COMMENTS / 12. ADJOURNMENT
=== LANGUAGEWATCH ===<=
/font>
Respect for English, its richness and nuance
ONE: BASIC GREETING
The first instalment was last week and started with the basic
"How are you?" (btw, hope you're well!)
The next mistake that drives me wild and makes me bring out a
marker to write on signs, just as Lynne Truss did involves
apostrophes. (And yes, I wrote the review of her book for the
VSun a couple of years ago.)
TWO: THE POSSESSIVE
Some people tend to sprinkle apostrophes throughout their writing
as if a random decoration. The rule is really simple but most
seem to forget one part.
The possessive is formed by adding ['s] to the word UNLESS the
word ends in [s] AND is
PLURAL.
Note that ending in [s] is not enough, it has to be plural
and that's the part many seem to ignore or forget. #Or maybe
their teacher didn't tell them.#
Examples:
Bridget Jones's Diary; the Joneses' children (and the Jones
family)
the boss's car; the bosses' offices
Mike Harris's govt, Sheila Copps's column, Vic Toews's
legislation; the senators' chamber
the MLA's riding, the MLAs' telephones; an MP's bill, the MPs'
seats; 1990's hit song; 1990s' hit songs
Ron Wood's garden, Tiger Woods's golf game; the Woods' house, the
Woodses' home
See?
Isn't it simple?
=== HAIKU === t=
he
winners from last year's Vancouver Cherry Blossom Festival
Haiku 2006
--
Haiku Invitational 2006
Here are the best
haiku of the 2006 Haiku Invitational:
* Best
Canadian Poem
the long
road
boughs of
white blossoms
light the
way
* Helen
Baker, North Vancouver, British Columbia
*
Best U.S Poem
cherry
blossoms
I fold my
r=E9sum=E9
into a
crane
* Barry
Goodmann, Hackensack, New Jersey
* Best
Youth Poem
stopped in
traffic-
on my
window
cherry
blossom
* Sophia
Frentz (age 13), Tauranga, New Zealand
* Best
International Poem
cherry
tree
even the
blind woman
picks
blossoms
* Rosa
Clement, Manaus, Brazil
VANCOUVER CHERRY BLOSSOM FESTIVAL
2007
We are delighted to announce that the second annual Cherry
Blossom Festival will take place in Vancouver, Canada, during March
and April 2007.
We invite poets from around the world to submit one unpublished
haiku inspired by the beauty of the cherry tree. Submissions
must be received by January 18, 2007.
You may find submission details at http://www.vcbf.ca/ by
following the link to haiku.
=== If you're in a bad mood, read this=
=== [UK Glossary: hoover = vacuum]
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame
Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They
Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You
Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too
Long?
Polaroids
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A
Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a
Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And
Twitches?
A
Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea
Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a
Hoover?
The
Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad
Skydiver?
A
Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A
Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
=== QUOTATIONS === if
you're thinking about your path this year and in the future.....
One recognizes one's course by discovering the paths that stray
from it.
--
Albert Camus
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no
path and leave a trail."
--
Ralph Waldo Emerson
One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night.
--
Khalil Gibran
Dwell as near as possible to the channel in which your life
flows.
--
Henry David Thoreau
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
--
Robert Frost