Calendar to Mar 24th

by Carolanne Reynolds, Editor

Did you notice some cherry trees now in bloom?  oh, the sweet smell of spring......
= MAIN ITEMS Ccl Mtg Mar 12: BUDGET 2007 PRESENTATION; DRAFT POLICIES: Partnership and Sponsorship, Public Amenity Contribution; Gleneagles Golf Course Building Options; Town Hall mtg re 2007 Budget Mar 28 [late-breaking news -- this date may be changed b/c ADRA's public mtg on the Ambleside Town Ctr Strategy will be that night]; Design Review Cmte Apptmts
= Vive le Canada; CULTUREWATCH; Calendar to Mar 24th (STREAMKEEPERS' mtg Mar 15); Ccl Mtg NOTES Mar 12 (Homeowner Grant 2007 with v gd report by R Laing, D/Finance; Capilano Rugby Club - Alternative Approval Process); Heritage Awards (full text); AGENDA Mar 12th; Puns 4 U; Maiku; Quotations

* WOMEN IN POLITICS -- VSun Friday Mar 9 pB3 -- Women make up half of the population, but hold 21% of the 308 House of Commons seats.  "Canada's international ranking, in terms of women elected to its national Parliament, has dropped to 47th in the world and now has fewer women elected than Mauritania, Uganda, Rwanda, Afghanistan, and Iraq," [Senator Pat] Carney said.
{than even Afghanistan and Iraq? plaintively moans your editor...}
* HERITAGE -- More on preserving the Great Hall of the Gleneagles Clubhouse and Pt Atkinson Lighthouse (plus 71 other heritage lighthouses in Canada) in the next issue.

Jay Brazeau -- what a treasure!  The VSun review of the play (Moonlight and Magnolias, at the Playhouse until Mar 17) was not unalloyed but we have to tell you that Jay Brazeau was OUTSTANDING -- it's over-the-top slapstick.  As someone said to us, Jay was the best Scarlett he'd ever seen!   :-)  -- but he plays many characters, as well as he prances about being Selznick.  Hm.  And did wonder why I liked bananas and peanuts.....
= TOTEMS TO TURQUOISE ends at the Vancouver Museum on Mar 25 -- fascinating.  Allow time, however, to watch the videos (how the Raven stole the light; carvers and jewellers at work and talking about their culture, their art) as well as time to enjoy looking at the jewellery from our tribes on the Northwest Coast (drenched in rain) as well as that of the Navajo, Hopi, and Zuni (ever so dry).  Many works of art put in context with notes and history.  Bill Reid's 'Milky Way' necklace of gold and diamonds is simply breathtaking.
=  Vancouver Opera's production of Ariadne auf Naxos by R Strauss ended Saturday Mar 10.  The first act elegant in black and white, the second with large flowers, and delightful warbling by Ariadne and Zerbinetta. Triviabit: I'd thought it was VOA, but they dropped Assn in 1984!
Just read Words, Words, Words (you'd think I'd had enough) by David Crystal.  Gotta love terms like wordsmithery and wordhoard.  It's a fun (for me, anyway) read and light reading with short chapters ranging all over the wordscape.  Pick up; put down.  Really enjoyed short chapters so can be interrupted and/or fitted in when only a few minutes.  And yes, I can't read without a pen handy to mark the mistakes in grammar, and there were several but the enjoyment overrode those minor irritations; always great to learn something.
WEBWATCH -- one serious/politics, one fascinating/magic, and one amusing, followed by horse dancing:
*  Litvinenko, the man in WDC, two American women in Moscow, and now Safronov "falls" from his building....Wikipedia is so up to date!  I googled him late Wednesday (Mar 7) and it even reported his funeral was March 7.  This is the Internet Age -- lightning fast information/communication! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Safronov
*  Watch this Japanese illusionist/street magician at work.  He's a young man who disguises himself as an elderly man.  It's a classic!  http://images2.jokaroo.net/videos/grandpajapan.wmv
*  Here's some old-time, mediaeval technical support :-) that I'm sure you can master (use/look up in library): http://www.flixxy.com/medieval-tech-support.htm
This is dressage such as you've never seen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKQgTiqhPbw

===  CALENDAR to March 11th to 24th&nbs= p; ===  [See FBG, Silk Purse, Library at end]

===  Tues Mar 13  ~ 7pm - Midnight ~ Norouz: Iranian New Year at Ambleside Park
The 13th of March celebration is called, Chaha Shanbeh Souri, literal translation (red or fiery Wednesday).  For more info:  http://www.cultureofiran.com/

===  Wed Mar 14
~ 7:30 - 9am ~ WV Chamber of Commerce Breakfast at Hollyburn Country Club
Mr. Francesco Aquilini of Aquilini Investment Group, Owners of the Vancouver Canucks
Francesco Aquilini was born and raised in East Vancouver; he is Managing Director of the Vancouver-based Aquilini Investment Group, a family-owned and operated firm that was started by his father, Luigi, some 50 years ago.  The company owns and manages a diversified real estate portfolio that includes commercial properties, office buildings, hotels, golf courses, and cranberry farms, as well as the development and sale of multi-family residences and condominiums.  In addition, the Aquilini Investment Group is the owner of the NHL's Vancouver Canucks and General Motors Place, with Mr Aquilini acting as the team's NHL Governor.  He is a business administration graduate of Simon Fraser University and received his MBA from the University of California.
Mr Aquilini is committed to a number of unique community endeavours, including as the chair and primary sponsor of the Italian Gardens at Vancouver's Hastings Park. In addition, the Aquilini Investment Group was instrumental in the creation of a 100-hectare nature conservancy named for the company in BC's Fraser Valley.  With his wife, Taliah, Mr Aquilini is also an active corporate and community fundraiser for the Canucks for Kids Fund, the signature charity of the Vancouver Canucks.
>>> RSVP INFO: Tix $35 but $25 for mbrs; call 926 6614 to reserve by 5pm Monday Mar 12th.

===  Thurs Mar 15
~ 5:30pm ~ NShFamily & Youth Justice Cmte at CNV M Hall [CANCELLED]
~ 7:30 - 9:30pm ~ WV Streamkeeper Society --  Public Meeting
                at St Stephen's Anglican Church, 885 - 22nd St., WV
Presentations re Rodgers and Marr Creeks, followed by biz and other creek reports at 8pm.
The Meeting will commence with presentations and discussion of local topics of interest.
=  Michael Ritter and Kurt Peiffer will present the current status of the Integrated Stormwater Management Plan (ISMP) for Rodgers Creek and Marr Creek
=  John Barker will report on Streamkeepers' participation in the Rodgers Creek Area Working Group
1. Call to order; introductions; approval of the Agenda
2. Adoption of the Minutes of 2007 January 18th
3. Business arising from the Minutes
4. Announcements
5. Report of the Directors' Meeting of 2007 January 30th
6. Reports (limited to three minutes)
        a. Community Adviser - Rob Bell-Irving, DFO
        b. Municipal Report - Steve Jenkins, Environmental Coordinator
        c. Hatchery Report & Nelson/Eagle/Wood Creeks - Elizabeth Hardy
        d  Rodgers Creek - Hugh Hamilton
        e. McDonald/Lawson Creeks - John Barker
        f. Brothers Creek and tributaries - Michael Ritter
        g. Claymore/Willow/ Cypress Creeks - Barrie Adams
        h. Larson Creek - Bruce McArthur, Kurt Peiffer
        i. North Shore Wetlands/ Swey-Wey Creek - Paul Berlinguette
        j. West Vancouver Shoreline Preservation Society - Ray Richards
7. New Business and Questions
8. Next Meeting - 2007 May 17th

===  Fri Mar 16
~ 7:30 - 8:30 ~ Discover the Art of this Land at the Kay Meek Centre Studio Theatre
An evening of dialogue exploring Coastal Salish artistic expression with internationally renowned First Nations artists Xwa lack tun, Charles Elliot, Stan Green, and Lyle Wilson, facilitated by Bill McLennan, Curator of the Pacific Northwest, Museum of Anthropology at UBC. Images of masterworks in museum collections around the world will be used to highlight unique artistic elements that define Coast Salish design.
Admission is free. Call 604-925-7220 to reserve seats or for more information.

===  Sat Mar 17  ~ 2 - 3:30pm ~ Sculpture Dedication Ceremony (Ambleside Park)
The official unveiling and dedication of Sna7m Sm=E1nit (Spirit of the Mountain, pronounced Snah-um Smah-nate) at the entrance to Ch'tl'am (Ambleside Park). After the ceremony, enjoy live entertainment, kids' activities, displays of the sculpture in the making -- and take home a special keepsake.

+++   NO DWV Ccl Mtg Monday Mar 19   +++

The Festival will launch with a Short Story Contest on March 19. Write a short-short story (max.250 words) that includes the three words: coyote, braid, and blanch, and win a $100 gift certificate to 32 Books.   Submit your entry to any North Shore library by Tuesday, April 10 or electronically to writingcontest@cnv.org, include your name, address and phone number. Winner will be announced Sunday, April 22.

===  Tues Mar 20
~ 7:30pm ~ WRA Mtg -- Gleneagles Recreation Ctr Lobby
Stephen Mikicich -Senior Community Planner for the District of West Vancouver- has agreed to be our guest speaker this Tuesday night.  Stephen is planning to review the changes which are being proposed for the Heritage plan (implemented in June 2006), explain about the Community Heritage Register, and discuss just what constitutes a heritage site.   Look on the District's web site for more information about the new Heritage plan:  http://www.westvancouver.net/article.asp?c=898&a=4306

===  Wed Mar 21 at 7pm: Bd of Variance at MHall and Library Bd at the Library

===  Thurs Mar 22 -- Police Bd mtg has been postponed to March 29.

===  Fri Mar 23 at the Library:
~ 10:30am - 12:30pm ~ PHILOSOPHERS' CAF=C9
"Eyes on the Nobel Peace Prize" A look at how the Prize is awarded and rank some of the past and potential recipients. Admission $5.00. (Peter J. Peters Room)
An eclectic evening of Klezmer, Yiddish bebop, Gypsy funk, and Balkan blues with Olam. Seating is limited so come early! Doors open at 7pm.

+++  AT THE SILK PURSE -- March 13 - 25
"The Persian Garden"
In conjunction with the Ferry Building Gallery, The WV Memorial Library, and the Seymour Gallery the Silk Purse celebrates "IRAN: The Art of a Culture" featuring the watercolours and mixed-media art of North Shore artist Fariba Dashtaray.
Opening Reception: Tuesday, March 13th from 6-8 pm

=  IRAN -- A Celebration of Art & Culture -- March 2 - 25
Mixed Media by Dr. Houshang Seyhoun, Leila Amin, Ramin Jamalpour, & Neda Navid
Opening Reception: Friday, March 2  6-8pm
        Gallery will be open 5-9pm during Chahar-shanbeh souri, Tuesday, March 13

=  THE GALLERY AT THE LIBRARY PRESENTS=8A  Iran: The Art of a Culture March 1 - 23
Works by Niloofar Abedi, Goga Bayat, Pooneh Erfat, Shahla Homayouni and Nurieh Mozafarri.
~ 6:30 - 8pm ~ Friday, March 9 - Please join us for the opening reception hosted by the Friends of the Library. Everyone is welcome.
~ 6:30pm ~ Thursday, March 15  - "Darwin's Nightmare", a documentary and discussion moderated by Harry Greenwood. An award-winning documentary about the impoverished fishermen of Mwanza, Tanzania, brought about by capitalism and globalization.
~ 10:30 - 12:30pm ~ A reading and discussion of James Joyce's "Ulysses". Tuesdays, March 20
Sign-up begins March 1. Phone 925 7408 to register for these free programs.
* MAD SCIENCE presents Dr. Suess's Bartholomew & the Oobleck (Ages 6 -12)
~ 2 - 3pm ~ Thursday, March 15 Find out how deception and science can be used to perform magic tricks. See amazing substances like ['Scaredy] Cat Powder', 'Paper that burns in a Flash', and 'Invisible Light'. Get to make your own sample of 'Oobleck' to take home.
~ 6:15 - 8:30pm ~ Friday, March 16  A night of great cinema after hours at the library. Organized and refreshments provided by the Library's Teen Advisory Group.
* FULL OF BEANS (Ages 6-9)
~ 2 - 3pm ~ Tuesday, March 20  An action-packed hour of fun with school yard games, clapping songs & skipping rhymes.

 ===== = ; Ccl Mtg NOTES Mar 5th  =====
1.  APPROVAL OF AGENDA:  March 05, 2007 Regular Council Agenda
Added some letters, including MLAs McIntyre and Sultan
2.  ADOPTION OF MINUTES:  February 19, 2007 Committee of the Whole Minutes [ADOPTED]
3.         K. Campbell, Executive Director, WV Chamber of Commerce regarding 2006 Chamber Update and Fee for Service Report
Mayor: welcome Ch of Comm Executive
Haley (Holly) Alexander: Prez [introduces board mbrs present]; our mission enhancing biz in WV
aim to foster economic devt, advocate key issues re biz, maintain biz resource ctr, help mbrs meet biz needs
want to share this award under communication, given to us last fall [gave examples of what done]
website westvanchamber.com; handles enquiries, connects mbrs
chart shows Jan 2003 to Jan 2007, number of unique visitors grew 600%; see this growing exponentially
this past month a lady from Everett, Washington, googled found out about a 2010 event so drove up
mbr showcases, seminars
at President's dinner in May, Biz Excellence Awards, recognized School District 45's int'l student program as the corporate biz of the year, Chez Michel Restaurant as the service biz of the year, Ambleside Shoppers Drugmart as the retail biz of the year, and Dolly Cartwright as the citizen of the year
Dec dinner, black out, so candlelight and Mayor led us in her rendition of 12 Days of Christmas, challenged us
Advocacy included rally re Park the Tax Coalition, demonstration at LGB in April
signage to showcase WV biz ctrs, supported the WinterSong Festival; continue to support Harmony Arts Festival; eight youth awards, etc...........
Board, 13 individuals; with events over 2000 volunteer hours
NSh Spirit Cmte, WV Library Fdn, WV Biz Assn/NSh Biz Ccl, to WV Historical Society
2007 strategic directive -- four key objectives: economic devt, biz advocacy, resource ctr for info, mbr initiatives
working on contributing to District's Amb revitalization, leverage and opps re theatre/hotels, tourism strategy, opps for 2010....
one-stop shop for biz name approvals; source of info for new biz
speakers, in March will have Francesco Aquilini  (biz, Vancouver Canucks)
thanks for support [music/slide show at end of slide presentation]
Sop: nice to see a spark has been lit under the Ch of Commerce, thank you
do see work to enhance cmnty
we have to look to after the decade -- what thoughts for after the Olympics
KC: echo your sentiment, we have to look to the future, my opinion to look five to ten years
can't answer right now
we'll look into it, see if we can do things better
Sop: in 2006, drastic increase from 22K to 36K unique visitors; categories?
KC: don't know where they're going to on the website, just number who visit; software doesn't do that
Sop: in 2006, 640 were RSVPs to your own events, 680 re own mbrship, 800 ph calls
KC: three categories, cmnty, biz, and tourism
if I go to the website five times, it registers once, unique address
averaging over 3K per month, diff ppl
MS: thank the Chamber; modest, think DWV shd provide something
not easy for biz today -- PST/GST/WCB auditors, etc., my favourite Statistics Canada and can be fined.
think Chamber doing a good job and continue
Mayor: I want to thank you too
question about hwy signage -- anything we can do to help you with that
KC: will direct you to Joe
Joe: not at this time but wd take advantage of working with someone at the City
Another person: someone did come in and tell us what was possible
Mayor: NSh Biz Ccl is new, don't know if ppl know what it's doing
KC: direct to Rick Amantea who sits on it
RA: new, set up to look at wide-ranging
had presentations from Costco, etc; looking forward to focusing
Mayor: app looking broad and keeping local
4.         Development Variance Permit Application No. 07?001 (6001 Gleneagles Drive)             CALL FOR PUBLIC INPUT
David Smith: co-owner; not familiar with the process but sent a letter in with all the required data
want sgl-car garage; don't have any storage, just a crawl space; convenience for us
help us out and enhance the nbrhd and virtually no impact on immediate surroundings
JF: is your present driveway gated?
DS: no
JF: plan to?
DS: yes; we have a German shepherd dog and we like privacy
JF: to staff: I understand we discourage gates?
Geri Boyle: gates are permitted on indiv properties, different from gated cmnties; comes to Ccl if located on M prop
JF: is the gate going to be on the applicant's prop?
GB: yes
RD: our staff informs us a conforming garage wd not look as good hence these variances to eastern side
GB: if I cd just add a point of clarification
the variance from Gleneagles Dr is 7.5ft not 8.5 ft; plan didn't get revised.
Sop: I'm going to support; also see a variance approved in 2004 and wd hv done it then
will be landscaped -- imp so not blacktop in front.
5.         Proposed 2nd Annual Rotary Run in West Vancouver on May 27, 2007
RECOMMENDED: THAT the Rotary Club of West Vancouver's request to host a 10 km run along the Seawall on May 27, 2007 be approved based on [fulfilment] of all District requirements.
MS: did you say someone from the club here?
Mayor: yes
MS: my father's a long-time Rotarian.  Note last year $2200 and only 100 participants
if it's a fundraising run, how much was raised?
Ans: $20K, primarily from the sponsors, Sussex Realty; hope same sponsorship this year
wd like to see more runners; last year not bad for a startup run and hope it will improve in future years
RD: MS has a run and they don't apply for grants: I ran last year and will again
wonder why you apply this way rather than apply for grants the usual way
Ans: it took us a couple of years to come to a position to run the run
think there was some misunderstanding, the sums of money were much higher and not the case we weren't looking for that
where this money comes from is not cash, it's services in kind
main cost is the policemen needed to close off the entrance in Amb Park, and flag ppl along the route
I felt that last yr the cooperation turned out to help us, worked v well, good spirit about the event and afterward at the breakfast positive feedback
RD: wd like to point out -- this does set a precedent
there is a procedure, other groups do, not come to Ccl; staff uneasy with this
in fact you can receive money with right procedures, see in report some hesitation
KP: don't want to cast any aspersions; good run; last year was a first time event and was to get them off the ground and you're right others come; no more complex than that
don't want to detract from excellent [work Rotary does]
RD: what's usual procedure?
KP: through grant process but really not a category for this; grants for logistics like this not done
you did give dollars for all kinds of first-time events, and that's done
RD: possible to est some procedures so groups can apply and not come to Ccl?
Sop: under this Working Group, looking at the diff grants right now; charged with to look at models
certainly intention of that WGrp to advise Ccl where grants going to go
specific today, this will be the second time event -- you can still apply through Cmnty Services Grant
the rub -- there are sev runs in WV, they'll be looking for funds on a first-time basis
support run, good work of the Rotary; ask they apply through the [system]
Mayor: we'd have to create a channel
Sop: supporting Cclr Day
JC: hasten to point out is 'in-kind' money and Cclr Day is talking about money
you can possibly reduce this by no police -- close off with barricades, use volunteers
Ans: wd be happy to do that; in the discussions that took place last year, the Police Dpt said required to do; if give us traffic vests happy to do that
JF: just looking for some clarification; no mention of grants or funding in the motion

{Good point, Jeanie.  Why ARE they talking about money?  Looks like Mike read that they got $2200 last year, no?
I've made the point many times that any agenda item that involves taxpayers' money shd hv the amount mentioned so we know how much money is involved.}

Rotary Club does an excellent job; variety of things in cmnty and charity-focused
don't see anything in this that the District will be funding; didn't understand where it's coming from
KP: guess I cd hv written a better report
this doesn't fit anything we have at present but clearly Rotary is requesting funding for this
VV: some concerns; about being fair among the groups; if we're not seeing this in comparison with other groups
just wondering -- need have another category, just have miscellaneous
do think we need to see this whether they request funds in cash or kind
look at all groups together so all get same approach
we have a date here for May 27 so no time to send round
for this one, I can support it but want to see it routed more sensibly next time.
Sop: in Cmnty Services, $20K, and we give out in funds or kind; then social [grants] give money for Coho Festival; if in-kind still dollars spent; has to be some linkage from tonight as to what will happen next year -- this channel or way everyone does.
JC: the [grant] application deadline is Jan 31, announcement of grants not made until May; this run is May 27 ev year so timing impossible to work with
have to wait till middle of May for 27th wdn't work

{Nonsense.  All groups apply the year before; all dates well known.}

JF: having sat on Cmnty Services -- groups apply by Jan 31


last year we advised Rotary to apply, I'm a great supporter of Rotary, but don't know why they didn't
funding not included in this motion
Mayor: we have mother/daughter, [names other] runs, etc -- is this different that you're using the Police Dept and that's where the charge is coming from?
Ans: in our discussions told we needed Police and flag ppl -- we're happy to provide volunteers in terms of policing barricade; also happy to comply with whatever directions for future
Mayor: direct that to Mr Pike; and all reqmts, I think Cclr F is asking
KP: don't close streets with volunteers; also required last year -- it's the only run like this that is on the seawalk and our concern was ppl not expecting this
want to make sure cones, notification; safety things that end up costing dollars
Ans: one of the things we did last year, all those residences along the route were provided with letters notifying them runs was going to take place
suggestion last year that signs put up at each end a week before the run saying that it was going to take place so not a surprise
Mayor: looking for a clearer process next year
6.         Home Owner Grant 2007 (File:  0955?06)
            THAT Council contact the Minister of Finance with regard to inequities in the Home Owner Grant Program, and request that legislation be introduced to ensure that all communities of British Columbia receive similar treatment in the application of an equitable Home Owner Grant regime.
RL: homeowner grant program, talk about statistics in WV and prov
began in 1957 as a means of offsetting burden of provincial school taxes on residential homeowners; prog funded by prov, administered by Ms
basic amt of grant for 2007 is $570 and for seniors $845
signif issue is existence of an assessment threshold -- homes with an assessed value in excess of $950K receive a reduced grant, and those in excess of $1.064M no grant at all -- the av home in WV exceeds this
in context -- there are 234 jurisdictions in BC where HOGrants were tracked; in 40% of those jurisdictions 100% received the HOG; in 94% of those communities, 90% or more of eligible residents received the full grant; in 98% of the cmnties 75% or more of eligible residents received the full grant; in WV, less than 34% receive the full grant -- worst rate in entire province
The opposite statistics, those receiving no grant at all: in 92% of 234, less than 6% received no grant at all; in 98%, less than 20% no grant at all; in WV fully 51% received no grant at all, second worst rate in prov
in recent prov budget, provision for low income seniors (term not yet defined), will receive the full grant irregardless [sic] of house value
interesting to look at school tax statistics -- attached is schedule A -- WV residential school tax collections.....looking at rate SD45 increases, notice period 2001 - 2006, taxation is growing faster than funding to school districts, ie residential school tax taken out of WV was 17.04% over that period, whereas funding to SD45 over that period increased 13.31%, and I also note the HOG returned to the cmnty actually decreased 2001 - 2006 by 5.42%
the report concludes, given some relief in a couple of other hi assessment cmnties, notably Whistler, feeling there really isn't a good reason to have such a large inequity between diff cmnties in BC wrt the HOG
an extreme impact in 5 out of 234 jurisdictions and our feeling that's unjustified
feeling in WV, the residential school collns, the HOGs, and the school operating grants are out of alignment
the report in the end presents three options: the most practical, the one probably most supportable by the prov, is that legislation be introduced to ensure that all cmnties of BC receive similar treatment in the application of an equitable HOG regime -- that's specifically getting to the Whistler situation [as to] why was relief provided specifically in a v high assessment cmnty, Whistler, yet not been considered in WV.
Also noticed that our MLA, Mr Sultan, has read the report and provided his comments, and I think he misinterprets our recommendation that we want to lower Whistler's increased threshold, that is not the thrust of the report.  We're really recommending is that WV be treated the same as Whistler.
He also talks about a 5% top bracket not getting the grant, almost as if it's a historical reference point of some kind and I'm not aware that was ever a feature of the grant when it was first introduced and I don't believe it shd serve as a reference point.
MS: do you have the specifics what relief Whistler and Tofino get?  what's upper limit on assessed value?
RL: don't know Tofino but in Whistler know arrangement the threshold amt is $2M and in add'n the local school tax mill rate was actually decreased for full-time residents (not sure by how much), so relief on both ends
RD: I think Mr Sultan pretty well hit it on the head
he was saying if we came in with a hardhitting argument, based on the Whistler inequity, he'd back us fully
I like that, if we just come up with Recommendation 3 and we protest against the inequities, we'd be quickly and easily ignored; we have to sever our argument
I think the Whistler injustice is the way to go.  If they get a $2M threshold, why don't we?  I mean Whistler's an extension of WV.  Look at it closely.
And Tofino, it wd be nice to know what they got.... it wd almost seem as if we cd take legal action, clear inequity, clear injustice
when you have a cause, base it on a clear injustice, that's the way shd go and enlist Mr Sultan who's v effective, and move in that direction
make our statement generally as you've done v well but shd zero in on Whistler and Tofino inequity
Sop: 5 out of 234 unjustified, clear!
TransLink collecting in excess of what they need and no formulas, saying maybe we'll adjust
v fact remains we shdn't talk about the bar, we shd be looking at an applied uniformity across the board/prov
who's to say these five?  have application, need it just as much as others?
how many in the cmnty bought 20 years ago and retirement not meet demands
unjust, old-flavour format and time to get real and sensible
if putting out a grant in the prov -- put it out to everybody, equally; don't talk about the bar
assumption by prov they're doing the right thing on old thinking
get with the prog in a modern way; this is unjust in school taxes; stick to WV they can afford it -- well, many can't
Time to get smart, Madam Mayor, if you're talking to the premier, give him the msg
RBeauchamp, D/AS: perhaps based on discussion want to combine 2 and 3 recommendations, 3 primary
say $2M granted to Whistler to be granted to other Ms as well; perhaps interim measure for next year
VV: always in favour of fairness and simplicity; pretty much agree with Sop
rather than fix something set up years ago
simple HOG for everybody
We shd think of it today; rather than wasting bureaucratic time
reduce for some, then dealing with all the probs
move toward simple, clear, fair schemes, better approach rather than tinker with scheme prov has set up
MS: agree with Cclr V, nothing short of a scandal
shd be for all homeowners, tinkered with by NDP, time for this govt in Victoria to stop acting like Socialists and do what they shd hv done when elected and applied HOG to everybody equally
ridiculous that over half WV get no grant at all, out making side deals with Whistler and Tofino
if we want this sort of socialism we can hold our noses and vote NDP; it's not right
we shd be vehemently loud in our opposition, and hold our MLAs to account asking why not delivering a better result b/c not acceptable and we're not going to sit here and take it any more
the value of your home has no relationship whatsoever with your annual income or net worth, if HOG available, as Cclrs Sop and Vaughan have said, shd apply to all the homeowners in the prov equally.
to allow this nonsense to go on is nothing short of a scandal
RD: just tongue in cheek; at this point I note, this social measure was introduced by the Social Credit govt, wch was a rightwing govt!
like the Liquor Control Bd, rackets such as these are not always the fault of the socialists
wch doesn't make me a socialist, need to point these things out
point Mr Beauchamp made is good; a statement of general outrage is good
need to fasten it to a specific example of injustice, and Whistler/Tofino specific examples to help mobilize Ralph Sultan, our MLA
combination of 2 and 3, Mr Laing can put together in clear way; indignation and injustice, but also zero in; the Whistler and Tofino shows the absurdity of this whole system, nothing shows it better.
eliminate certain number of Ms but not all; you've got six rich Ms, so you stick it to four and exempt two -- give them $2M -- that's kind of absurdity you can base your argument on and have some chance of success
Mayor: is there suggested wording? want in motion?
RD: add 2 to 3, cd start off with 3 examples of absurdities/inequities Tofino/Whistler, leave it to Mr Laing to do that; 2 as example showing inequities useful; can combine the two
JF: I'd like to propose an amendment that we send copies of this motion to the other four Ms also being as poorly served.
Mayor: excellent idea; treatment equitable (not more) and applied uniformly across prov
[reads out revision of motion, RD in agreement]
and that motion be forwarded to four other cmnties being treated inequitably
RD: unfairly
Mayor: unfairly
Sop: everyone talks about a bar; we have look at this as uniform in the prov; nothing to do with equality with Whistler, got to talk about uniformity
Mayor/RD: that's what we said
Sop: shd be basis uniformly across the prov--
RD: that's what we're saying
Sop: --no side issues
why four, five, or six, left out of a grant position? wch was normally to ev in the province
RD: that's why starting with 3, and simply use 2 as an example of the unfairness; exact points you're making
Mayor: have we a motion?
SSch: we have, but not on floor
Mayor: ideal, who'd like to come up with a motion?
RD: from somebody whose prop is now no longer subject to, or gets HOG this year
SSch: read back motion: [xxxxx]
Mayor: not sure about the $2M
RD: what I meant, was to refer to 2 as examples; Whistler/Tofino unfairness and need for uniform rules across the prov; we're not asking for the $2M base
Mayor: as a way through--
MS: if we say the Ccl contact the Min of Finance wrt inequities in the HOG prog, including side deals made with Whistler/Tofino, and then request legislation be
RD: --not side deals
Mayor: want Ccl to be clear on the motion
RB: after 3, perhaps after equitable, citing Whistler and Tofino as examples and therefore applying uniformly across the prov
Mayor: that'd be fine
Sop: there's another example, indivs who find it, their ability to pay, five cmnties are exempt from a balance of 240 cmnties in this prov
that's the right to meet expectations of their prop assessment, 234 got go ahead, here's HOG; in this cmnty we don't get that; that's an issue that shd be dealt with
RB: this points can be submitted along with the Dir/Finance's report, with more detail
MS: we need a follow-up motion; we write to our two MLAs; got response, at least a letter, from one MLA and not other; lobby our views to Victoria and for them to represent interest of voters who put them in office
Mayor: copy them, and provide covering letter
RD: only one expressed sympathy
Mayor: believe Mr Beauchamp rec'd ph call from Ms McIntyre, MLA
[MS made motion to that effect (letter) PASSED]
7.         Capilano Rugby Club - Alternative Approval Process
Mayor: rarely used
KP: rather technical report; you've had presentations in closed session previously
we've been negotiating for well over two years; Mr Cooke (sp?), ....mbrs in audience
Rugby has been in Klahanie Park for over 25 years already and want to be for the next 25 years
largest, biggest club in BC and want to say best, play nationally and internationally
we know them best as introducing rugby to kids, women, partnering with schools; good partners with us
we have an agreed lease; need one more step; alternative approval process
two clauses, 6 and 7, calls to be compensated for value they've put into facility if lease terminated before 25 years or at end of period if lease not continued, based on a valuing of the building at the time, so decreasing value; field decreases $10K a year of the $250K they put in so no value at end
Charter requires we have the alternate process; opp for public to object
10% of electors have to disagree with what we're doing: 33000 so 3300
we did this with the Hollyburn Sailing club; not often done but has been
we're ready to go
Mayor: Ccl JF, put motion on the floor?
JF: part or all?
Mayor: all
JF read out motion:
            1.         WHEREAS the District has entered into an agreement with the Capilano Rugby Football Club to lease a clubhouse, grand stand and change rooms located on District owned land legally described as Parcel Identifier 007?614?403 Block 1 District Lot 790 Plan 15857 and to permit the Club to use the playing fields on the land.  The term of the lease and licence agreement is 25 years;
            2.         AND WHEREAS under the lease and licence agreement, the District will incur on the expiry or earlier termination of the lease and licence agreement a liability to compensate the Club in an amount equal to:
                        (a)       the then depreciated market value of the clubhouse, grand stand and change rooms; plus
                        (b)       $250,000, being the Club's initial investment in the playing fields, less $10,000 per year for every complete or partial calendar year from April 2, 2007 to the date of expiry or early termination.
            3.         AND WHEREAS, pursuant to section 175 of the Community Charter, Council may incur a liability under an agreement for more than 5 years only with approval of the electors by elector assent or by alternative approval process under section 86 of the Community Charter.
            4.         AND WHEREAS the provisions in the lease and licence agreement under which the District would incur the above contingent liability to compensate the Club are expressly subject to the outcome of an alternative approval process such that, if 10% of the electors sign and submit elector response forms by the deadline, the lease and licence agreement will continue but it will not include the above liability to compensate the Club;
            5.         AND WHEREAS the Municipal Clerk will make available to the public during regular business hours copies of the lease and licence agreement and records relating to it as of the date of the first notice of alternative approval process published pursuant to section 86 of the Community Charter,
            6.         NOW THEREFORE Council resolves as follows:
                        (a)       An alternative approval process will be provided in relation to the liability to compensate the Club that would be incurred under the lease and licence agreement.
                        (b)       Elector responses shall be in the form before Council this day.
                        (c)        The deadline for elector response forms shall be 4:00 pm on April 24, 2007.
                        (d)       The Municipal Clerk is authorized to prepare and publish a Notice of Alternative Approval Process.
                        (e)       A fair determination of the total number of eligible electors of the District of West Vancouver is 33,311. (Appendix B)
Sop:  may I ask the Chairman of the Bd a question
[Stephen Cook, Prez]
Sop: states you will work on the clubhouse, estimated amt of $1M in next two years
any guarantee that will take place
SC: well underway raising that; mbrship aware of standards; confident able to live up to obligations
Sop: going on for ten years so a bit of a banner day
you use your main field, look after it yourself
SC: lower field, yes, and the upper
Sop: that will continue:
SC: on the all-weather field there's soccer certain week nights and the upper field baseball and soccer (summer) when available
Sop: worked out parking probs?
SC: yes
KP: no. not really to be frank
on busy times, overflow; been using gravel field for weekend events
once this upgrade over, there are lands on the west end that may be av for further parking
VV: any intention to convert any more of the playing fields to artificial turf
SC: wd love to but wd have to raise funding
VV: so no plans; concerned about use by public b/c when game there's a fence and a gate
concerned about artif for that reason
equitability with other groups
this is a 25-year lease -- wondering isn't this applied to other groups?  golf? tennis players? lawn bowling? wonder why? looks like a good approach
KP: we're setting a standard here
intent: where a group raises a signif amt of money group wants to be assure enjoy fruits of their labour
get those requests and hope similar
VV: hypothetically, if we get Equestrian Ctr
ppl put in money and assured not put at risk; public has to be consulted, has to be a percentage of voters consulted?
no generic way? general principle? keep doing at sports facilities?
KP: that's how you get smiles from staff
each is a long and xxxxx process; but each one is quite different; these didn't want it taken back, others have diff reasons
JF: want to know what the cost is with the alternative approval process
SSch: advertising in NSNews, photocopying of forms and info packages.
KP: two consecutive ads in newspaper the most expensive
we don't set up polls; ppl have to come into Hall to fill out forms

{hm.  3300 ppl have to come to the Hall, during office hours, to object to any measure that is proposed under the "alternative approval process"?  rather difficult, I shd say, unless really publicized and really unpopular (wch this isn't), and onerous to boot if must do in person between 8:30 and 4:30 at Hall!}

JF: less expensive than M election
Mayor:...[done before] did you get much response from Hollyburn Sailing Club?
KP: one or two; most recognize the good they do in cmnty
JC: item 5 talks about during regular biz hours, copies of licence agreement av?
not av to us here tonight

{good question!}

.....liability to compensate if early termination
surely there must be provision if Club defaults, club's initiative; seems like Club getting [protection, not M....]
KP: no question we're protected; a lot of time spent by solicitor so both Club and DWV covered
can't quote
JC: with an imp issue like that, don't know why not at hand


Mayor: you won't vote?
JC: wd be more comfortable with that info
KP: think Steve consulted with solicitor and maybe he cd tell us
SC (shuffle, shuffle but doesn't find it):
RB: I think it's fair to say the agreement wd have to be .... and signed off; so wd come back to Ccl

{RB breaks the impasse......}

SC: no compensation paid to club; section 7 District's obligations
Mayor: fine; we're taking a direction here
obviously more details when finalized
8.         Consent Agenda Items - Reports and Correspondence -- [listed in last WVM]
re (10)     Undated, regarding traffic, speeding and parking violations in the Glenmore neighbourhood
EBarth: Wd like to have the one on speeding parking violations be referred to D/Engg

11. REPORTS FROM MAYOR/COUNCILLORS [only three ppl left in gallery!]

Sop: today's my birthday!
Mayor: Happy Birthday!
Sop: I want to congratulate Cclr Vaughan and her husband on their 40th wedding anniversary on Saturday...
Mayor: congratulations as well!
Sop: I didn't receive a cake or present from any of the ccl mbrs.  Cclr Clark had stated long ago he'd supply a cake!
[some chuckles]
Mayor: I attended the Vancouver Valuation Summit with Mr Barth; I thought extraordinary
all about how the biz case made for sustainability to work; opened by Premier, mbrs from UN were there from NY and Geneva; the Green Bldg Ccl chairs from US, England, and Canada presented
quite extraordinary; signif shift of capital, pension funds, to what are environmental, social, and governance issues that inform sustainability
serious long-term conservative investors are viewing the triple bottomline as the most risk-averse type of investment to make; investment megatrend; arrival of new fiduciary
essential if not required; carbon-constrained future and cost to planet
investors are saying what are you doing about it
BPP had some ppl there, and other consultants; begin to see this wrt Rodgers Creek area,to see kind of leadership, investors/devprs from around the world
EB: v heartening; for many years, M govt trying to sing the praises of green bldgs
trying to persuade dvprs to to do this
encouraging to be in biz cmnty  encouraging devprs to do these things
can be not only cost neutral but also good for env'mt; can be hugely beneficial to project
Dockside green project in Victoria -- well worth looking at, quite remarkable
Mayor: high networth and ultra high networth clients of the Swiss and European banks are demanding sustainability in the projects they invest in
so money talks, v glad I was there
Sop: read with interest in LGMA Mr Beauchamp's article; spells out not only where Ccl is looking at future pressures on cmnty, taxation; how staff/mgmt proceeding and what they're looking at
gives a v indepth sense, a lot of work to do; a word to the wise, we have to look at some serious implications in the future; demands, under shifting of govt and new responsibilities; govt says here's a basketful of tools but you have limitations, and now we're starting to see incredible sense of overwhelming issues that are going to face local govt, wch we asked for in some way and we're going to get it; and unless even on tax sustainability that we looked at, unless we look at other avenues, going to see some difficulties in future
JC: Cole Copeland (sp?) from Mulgrave, Howard Cole (sp?) from Collingwood, and Rachel McDaniel (sp?) from Hollyburn Elementary are three finalists in regional CanWest Spelling Bee.  Good for them.

CR: Carolanne Reynolds, Editor, West Van Matters
I just cdn't let it go by without saying I'm sure many of us want to wish Mr and Mrs Vaughan a happy 40th anniversary, and we really want to wish Cclr Soprovich a happy birthday: so if nobody did it, I'm sure that many of us think about it, many of us want to now that we know about it.
Mayor: thank you very much.  Make sure that's in the minutes
13.  ADJOURNMENT -- 8:40


Mayor Goldsmith-Jones
On behalf of Council, I would like to welcome you all to the 11th annual West Vancouver Heritage Achievement Awards ceremony. 
West Vancouver's natural, built and cultural heritage define our community identity, give our neighbourhoods their distinct character, and enhance the high quality of life we have come to enjoy.
The Heritage Achievement Awards are presented in honour of individuals, groups, and businesses that have made a significant contribution toward preserving our diverse heritage resources.
Since the inception of the awards program in 1995, we have honoured 63 individual and group achievements.  Tonight, we will be adding four more names to this list.
We are delighted to present the 2007 Heritage Achievement Awards ceremony as the 'kick-off' event for Heritage Week in West Vancouver.
The theme for this year's Heritage Week is: "Vernacular Heritage: Architecture Without Architects"=8A The Heritage Society of BC describes this as meaning "from the local region, informal, or of the common people."
In keeping with this theme, tonight's honourees shed a spotlight on West Vancouver's cultural heritage and its folk history, including:
The historic Hollyburn cabin community;
The history of both fire fighting and telecommunications in West Vancouver; and
The personal stories of our fallen soldiers from two World Wars.


Councillor Soprovich
While working on the development of a new website for the West Vancouver Branch #60 of the Royal Canadian Legion, Julie Clements visited the Memorial Arch to take some photographs.  It was during this visit that she became very emotional.  In her own words: 
"I was at the West Vancouver Memorial Arch taking pictures for the photo gallery on our website.  As I stood in front of the West Plinth, I was overcome with emotion, tears started rolling down my face, and a chill went down my spine.  I stood there looking at these names carved in granite, and realized I knew nothing about them.  An intense feeling came over me - I needed to know who these men were."
The names that were carved in granite had once been someone's son, husband or father.  These men had sacrificed their lives so that we may live in freedom, yet we knew nothing about them, nor the contributions they had made.
Julie's desire to know more about these men quickly became an obsession.  She urged the Legion's president to give her permission to start this project.  She wanted it to become a gift to the citizens of West Vancouver, and her contribution to the 80th anniversary of the West Vancouver Legion.
Over the balance of the summer and fall of 2006, she spent hundreds of hours researching the Internet, to find clues about these men, and to start telling their stories.  Her efforts have resulted in the "West Vancouver Memorial Arch" page on the Legion's web site:  HYPERLINK "http://www.westvan60.com" www.westvan60.com.  It includes a complete history of the Arch, the WWI Cairn, the two WWII Plinths, and the names engraved on each of them.
This material has also been produced into two binders, which are available for public use at the Legion and the West Vancouver Memorial Library.
Julie's efforts have created a "living" memorial, honouring the men who lost their lives in the two World Wars, and personifies the Legion motto:  "Lest We Forget".
Councillor Day
Our next award is truly in keeping with the theme:  "Vernacular Architecture." 
Cabin building on Hollyburn Ridge became a popular pastime in the late 1920s after the Hollyburn Ski Camp / Lodge opened in January 1927.  Typically, a group of young people would decide to build a cabin, look for a suitable site close to fresh water and building supplies in the form of flume boards or trees, and then go about building their 'home on the Ridge.' 
Lacking skills, many learned through trial and error.  Sharing knowledge gained from experience was quite common between cabin groups.  In this way, a strong sense of community developed.  By 1931, over 200 cabins had been built.
In Woodland Utopias: The Cabins of Hollyburn, Francis Mansbridge states that "the cabins epitomized a fusion of Hollyburn values - self-reliance, rejection of urban materialism, and friendship and a cooperative spirit.  These values have remained constant to this day.  =8ASo developed a cabin culture on the North Shore Mountain areas of Hollyburn, Grouse and Seymour, a smorgasbord of fiercely independent individuals.  While there is no such thing as a typical cabin owner, they all share a love of the wilderness and a quirky disregard for many of the urban social conventions."
While the cabins on Grouse and Seymour have now disappeared.  However, Hollyburn's cabins have endured!  Perhaps it is because there were more cabins on Hollyburn to start with; they were well maintained; and a community had evolved on the mountain?  There was also strong and vocal community leadership which advocated for the survival of these cabins, which continues today through the Hollyburn Ridge Association.
The Hollyburn Ridge Association was incorporated in 1973, with the objectives of:
Protecting and preserving the Hollyburn cabin area;
Promoting the recreational use and public access to the Hollyburn Ridge area; and
Negotiating with all levels of government to ensure the cabin area's survival.
The Association's policy of "negotiation rather than confrontation" has proved effective, and (for now at least), the threats to the viability of the cabin community have been allayed.  Many cabins have now been passed on to a second or third generation.  The Hollyburn cabin area survives as a vibrant, living, heritage precinct, and a testament to West Vancouver's history of mountain recreation.
Councillor Clark
"So,=8A Where Were You When the Phone Rang?  This is both an interesting question, and the title of Barrie Chapman's book, which chronicles the history of the telephone on the North Shore and, more specifically, in West Vancouver, during the period 1882 to 1977.
Work of this nature makes a vital contribution in document our cultural history, and the evolution of day-to-day life in West Vancouver.  The following excerpts from the book's Prologue set the stage for a fascinating history:
"In the late 1800s, hardy pioneer settlers on the North Shore communicated with their colleagues on the Vancouver side of the harbour, by means of signal flags.  The focal point of this activity on the Vancouver side was a tall pole that apparently stood at Brockton Point."
"There is a record of an underwater cable being strung in 1883 between a sawmill in Moodyville (North Vancouver) and its counterpart Hastings Mill on Dunlevy Street, to facilitate telegraph transmissions between the two locations.  In 1885, the telegraph equipment was replaced by magneto (crank) type telephones and the first private line telephone service to the North Shore became a part of history."
The BC Telephone Co. established telephone service in West Vancouver in 1914, and "Mr. (John) Lawson was appointed agent for the company with responsibility for marketing telephone service and collecting customer accounts."
"The first switchboard was installed near the Hollyburn General Store in Lawson's real estate office adjoining the Hollyburn post office, just below 18th Avenue and Marine Drive.  It was operated by Mr. Lawson, by his clerk, occasionally by his son Duncan, and for 'one hectic night' by his daughter Gertrude."
The concept for this project was initiated by the West Vancouver Museum a decade ago, following Mr. Chapman's retirement from Telus (BC Tel), and after some initial research he had undertaken.  It then became an eight-year 'labour of love' for the West Vancouver native, which he completed in 2006. 
The book traces the early growth and development of our community through the eyes of the telephone company, and identifies many of the employees that helped weave the fabric of West Vancouver as we know it today.  It was produced solely for the West Vancouver Museum and Archives and, should it be printed at some point in the future, any profits realized will go back into the Museum.
Councillor Vaughan
Our final award for this evening acknowledges volunteer efforts over the past 20 years to collect, document and display artefacts related to the history of fire fighting in West Vancouver.
The West Vancouver Fire Service Museum & Archives Society was incorporated in 1986, with an initial grant of $1000 from the Kiwanis Foundation.  The Society's purpose is to acquire and protect fire fighting equipment and archival material, especially equipment used within West Vancouver.  From 1986 to 1989, its primary focus was on acquiring documents, which ranged from newspaper clippings to fire department reports.  Some of the Society's achievements include:
Restoration of a 1947 Willys Jeep Fire Truck, assisted by a donation of $10,000 from Mrs. Art Langley, wife of a former mayor
1989 - First memorabilia display at the No. 1 Fire Hall to commemorate the 35th anniversary of paid fire staff in West Vancouver
1991 - Artist Robert Banks received a commission to paint the Society's antique fire trucks (including 1949 International Fire Truck #32), for replication in prints, t-shirts and other fund-raising items
1994 - Acquisition of "Old 98", for a total of three antique fire service vehicles
1997 - Display of fire service memorabilia at the West Vancouver Museum
1998 - Karl Schaller donated his collection of fire service medals to the Society;
Efforts to establish a Storage and Restoration Building behind the No. 4 Fire Hall started in 2003, with assistance from Fire Chief Doug Trussler.  With a grant of $10,000 from the Fire Department in 2004, the Society began a fund raising campaign that netted another $10,255 from service organizations and individuals.
Another grant of $10,000 from the Fire Department allowed Society volunteers to frame and roof the building.  By the end of 2005, the exterior was completely finished; and work continued on the interior.  As acting Mayor, I was delighted to cut the ribbon commemorating the official opening of this facility on October 7th, 2006.  The event was attended by over 100 people, and marks the culmination of the Society's tremendous volunteer efforts over several years.

=====  CCL CMTE of= the WHOLE AGENDA Mar 12th  =====
1.  APPROVAL OF AGENDA -- Approval of March 12, 2007 Committee of the Whole Agenda
2.         2007 Budget Presentation
3.         Draft Partnership and Sponsorship Policy
the Draft Partnership and Sponsorship Policy and Procedure be received for information and provided for public comment during the 2007 budget review process.
4.         Draft Public Amenity Contribution Policy
            1.         The report from the Sr. Community Planner dated February 27, 2007 be received;
            2.         The Draft Public Amenity Contribution Policy be made available for public information and comment for approximately one month, as outlined in Section 3.5 of the report from the Sr. Community Planner dated February 27, 2007; and
            3.         Staff report back on public comment, for further consideration in late April 2007.
 5.         Gleneagles Golf Course:  Building Options
            1.         A design and building process for a new Golf Customer Services building be developed on the location of the current clubhouse structures, including public washrooms, golf club meeting space, a Caf=E9/Bistro and a Pro Shop, to a target construction cost of $1,000,000.00.
            2.         In partnership with the Western Residents Association, staff explore Community Heritage grants, donations and other cooperative funding opportunities that could enable the conservation and restoration of the "Great Hall".
            3.         In partnership with the Gleneagles Golf Club and related golf user groups, staff formulate a strategic golf course operations & capital plan that will ensure sustained improvement of the Gleneagles Golf Course.
[Correspondence List in favour of retention of Great Hall]
 6.         Town Hall Meeting on Wednesday, March 28, 2007
RECOMMENDED: THAT a Town Hall Council Meeting regarding the draft 2007 Budget be held on March 28, 2007 at 7:00 pm in the Activity Room at the WV Seniors' Centre.
 7.         Appointments to Design Review Committee
RECOMMENDED: THAT the following appointments be made to the Design Review Committee for the term ending December 31, 2007: Jennifer Marshall, Don Vaughn, Veronica Gillies, Stephan Elmitt, P. J. Mallen, Cam Anderson, Jim Carruthers, Karl Ray.

===  PUNS 4 U === = ; TRUISM PUNS
Those who know me well, know I love language and that includes puns, maybe unfortunately for you.  May even put in my newsletter.  A few lists have come to me over the past year or so and this is the latest, most of wch I had not seen before so pass on hoping to bring a smile to you today......
I'll be able to gauge appreciation by the volume of the groans I hear from here.

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
        Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
        He's all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
* We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.

* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

* What's the definition of a will?
        (It's a dead giveaway)
* A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.
* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
* A backward poet writes inverse.

* In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
* If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
* A calendar's days are numbered.

* A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

* Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
* When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
* When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

                        Reading all of these was Pun-Ishment!

=== MAIKU === VMuseum,= Totems to Turquoise Mar 11, video Haida/Hopi/watching water

                glacier-fed coastal water      
                        undulating waves
                                gleam mother-of-pearl

===  QUOTATIONS  ===

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.  -- Faith Baldwin, novelist (1893-1978)

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
                -- Doug Larson, Olympic Gold Medalist (1902-1981) [attribution debated]